ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
It's blow job season.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Randomize
