i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
