Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
