Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
