It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
