So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
