You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize