she looked like the before picture.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
