Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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