Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
