Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
