No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
