well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
