Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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