I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Randomize
