I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
