Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
