What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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