You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
