I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
