I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
