you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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