I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
it glows. i had to have it.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
