please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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