Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
