My brain says no but my pants say off.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
