yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i think i have two assholes
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
