Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
