Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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