Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
