And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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