How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
