Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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