The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
