i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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