sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
this is an emotional support booty call
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
