Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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