So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Randomize
