Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
