right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
