he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
