That's intense
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
