Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm jealous of your bromance
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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