Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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