dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
