I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
