He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
