Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
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