I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
did you just send me my own nude
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
