no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
